Stike Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 One of my old bands that has been effectivelly dead for 13 years now got back together to play a multiband party at a friends bar last night. Played my 92 Sunburst half the set, there's yer Hamer content. Anywho so we're about halfway though our set and this turkey walks up onstage with some wadded up bills and informs me that 40 bucks is ours if we let him sing "My Girl". Now I'm wondering what this guy had been hearing for the last 30 minutes because if I had heard a band playing stuff lke GNR, AC/DC, Top, Halen, and other equally crunchy stuff I don't think I'd expect them to busting out "MyGirl" anytime soon and we sure as shit were not about to either although we did bust out Dwight Yoakam's "Guitars And Cadillacs" to screw with people's heads. But as with most folks who wander up onstage this guy was not gonna go easy. To his offer of 40 bucks I countered with four thousand, he went to 60 and peaked at 80 so I had to just flat out tell him we didn't know the fucking song and wouldn't be able to play it if a gun was stuck in my temple. He then offered to sing it accaplla, "when we're done, get off the stage". Of course in a Cosantanza moment after the set out singer said we should of took his cash and gave him some Sonic Youth-esque noisy backing music to work with My hats off to ya'll who bust yer butts in REAL working coverbands who actually have to be polite to didpshits like the one I descrided.
edgar_allan_poe Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Every night bro...There is always some idiot who wants to sing or play guitar for a song. Thank *god* that our leader will have none of it. He has no problem playing the bad guy, and people normally leave him alone. He has a birth defect that left him with half his left arm and half his right leg...that pretty much takes care of all the testosterone that can be involved with this situation. They mistakenly feel sorry for him and assume that a fight would just make them look horrible silly. What they don't realize is that Jaye is a bad mo-fo and can actually fight his ass off!! LOL!!! I watched him shove his nub into a guys chest years ago when we were teenagers...the poor bastard never knew what hit him and he went down in a heap gasping for breath. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Stike Posted July 17, 2005 Author Posted July 17, 2005 Why do you hate the Temptations so much? Actually that's kinda funny now that you mention it. There were 2 stages(inside and outside)one band played while the other setup. While we were setting up the band inside was playing loads of Motown and I was singing along the whole time Love The Temptations, hate dipshits who think any band in a bar is their personal karaoke machine.
MrGuitarguy Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 If I had a dollar for every time I heard: "Hey boy, you sure do play a mean guitar! Ya'll know any Free Bird?" I'd be a rich man... *sigh*The other thing is there's always someone who wants to hear some country. "Sure buddy, that fits right in there with the Velvet Revolver song we just finished."
hardheartedbill Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 I really don't now where to begin, I will admit that I played Freebird in public for money last night ( kicked it's redneck ass too! ) The biggest moron I can think of was very sedate and I'm not sure he ever spoke to me. Back in the 80's I was in a rock cover band doing Ratt and Crue et al, spandex, make up , stacks , and a huge light/pa rig, 8 double 15 sugar scoops on the bottom, insane, anway, there was a little british guy who would get a pitcher of beer and the get inside on of these things and sit, I swear to god he was up in the bass bin w/ his feet sticking out , we played a house job and over the course of the summer he slowly migtated from the bass bin furthest from the stage to the one right next to it, I'd look down and see 2 feet sticking out w/ a pitcher sitting next to em, I'm sure he's deaf today, must be
Lockbody Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 We were playing a house party once when some drunk chick decided to come up and dance with the singer. Everything was fine until she fell into the drums. He gets her up and a few minutes later, into the drums she goes again. Well, this time our singer escorts her out of our area, but a minute later she wanders up and snatches up one of the cymbal stands and starts to dance away with it while mumbling incoherently under her breath at our singer. All her friends start yelling at her to put it back, so she does; by throwing it at the drumset and then she falls into said drumset once more. I think drunk girl stories beat drunk guys stories any day of the week.
Guest teefus2 Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Back in the 80's I was in a rock cover band doing Ratt and Crue et al, spandex, make up , stacks , and a huge light/pa rig, 8 double 15 sugar scoops on the bottom, insane, anway, there was a little british guy who would get a pitcher of beer and the get inside on of these things and sit, I swear to god he was up in the bass bin w/ his feet sticking out , we played a house job and over the course of the summer he slowly migtated from the bass bin furthest from the stage to the one right next to it, I'd look down and see 2 feet sticking out w/ a pitcher sitting next to em, I'm sure he's deaf today, must be holy shi'ite muslim bill, that's a hell of a pa. i have been on stage before and witnessed people sticking their heads in 20 cabs and planting their ears next to the ev 1000 watt drivers. i don't envy how they will feel and hear in the morning.
tgoss Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 Oh yeah! These are great.We had "Mr. I'm The Greatest Dancer on Earth" gyrating around all the ladies and then backs up and trips over the monitors right onto my foot pedals and activated just about every one of them. I've never been able to duplicate that sound.Or the girl who thought our PA speaker stands were a go-go dancin' pole. I couldn't figure why that shadow on my left keep getting bigger and bigger until I looked up and realized a Mackie was heading for me. Luckily I did get one hand up in time to stop it from crashing into me but I didn't have enough leverage to push it back up so I just had to stand there holding it until the lead singer came over to help me.Or the time the same lead singer was down on one knee croonin' to some girl and a very well endowed lady behind him slipped and fell so's he ended up with two huge breasts dangling in front of his eyes.Oh God, I could go on all day....
elduave Posted July 17, 2005 Posted July 17, 2005 All great stories! An old band of mine was playing in Frederick, MD. Weeknight, big stage, pretty empty club. Some 'neck starts dancing by himself in front of our bass player making fun and accusing us of playing pussy disco shit or somethin (i think we where playing new girl now by honeymoon suite )... jon's not having it, so he tells the dude that if he doesn't beat it he's gonna dot his eye (jon can fight)... 'neck continues to chastize... jon, mid song, says "that's it", takes his bass off drops it on the stage, hops down and gets nose to nose with the guy, they eventually have at it, spilling out the front door in the process, we hop off, go outside and find the neck on top of jon holding jons hair and repeatedly punching him in the face, our rodie (who supposedly can also fight) pretty much did nothing to help, so i jump on the neck to pull him off Jon, necks neck girlfriend then jumps on MY back and sucker punches me in the side of my head, by that time the bouncers FINALLY stepped in and took the redneck couple away... hilarious
cmatthes Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 There's always a 20-something girl/guy who isn't completely familiar with the effects of a lot of alcohol, and has the mistaken impression that "Live Band" is some sort of translation for "Karaoke". If the girl is cute enough, she may get a tambourine or maybe even a mic for a song, but after that, it's really time to go, Sweetie. You may have done the best "Piece of My Heart" at your Sorority talent show, but that was a few years ago and it ain't on our setlist!That being said, I don't mind it when people get into it, but when you start bumping into things and gravity is becoming unfamiliar to you (or you start pissing off Guitarlos' wife) it's best to leave the stage area.
lonote049 Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 We play a suburban Minneapolis bar which shall remain unidentified. Years ago, there were a lot of wannabe amateur strippers who hung out there and they used to entertain us while we were entertaining the rest of the patrons. I was married for 20 years and I swear I saw more T & A in that bar than I ever saw at home! I don't know if they were morons or not, but they sure worked hard and went home with no tip money...
Brooks Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 always a problem. we used to be pretty militant about no uninvited guests onstage in my old coverband, only ex-members. same w/ requests; i always like to use the old "bruce springsteen (or insert requested artist here) will be here next week, thank you".however, when dave & I play duo gigs, money talks. we will let anyone on the mic (or request a song) for $20, we then fake the tune for ~30 seconds then stop, announce "lets hear it for drunk guy" and launch into another tune while breaking eye contact, ha. we made $176 in tips a few weeks ago when these 4 drunk folks kept asking us to do songs we really didn't know (and a few we did know). best tip was $50 if we let one drunk get on the mic and do his "LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE!!" imitation. dude then tried to dance on a table, spilling himself and everything on the table to the floor, ha!
edgar_allan_poe Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 One of the best I have seen was at a Grumpy Old Men show. Drunk dude get up on the stage and starts to play a DRUM SOLO!! Now...that is funny all by itself. However, when you take into account that it was during the acoustic part of the show...well...that just makes it insanely funny. HAHAHAHHA
SirDouglas Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Drunks are the most irratating thing when you are in the midle of a set... some ripped up jackass comes up and wants to talk to you... OR they want to touch yer equipment..... i tell em flat out.. look buddy just 1 of those 12vers is worth more than ANY vehicle you will ever own....swhy dont you go over there and bother that really tore up guy... he looks like he needs a friend...people are ignorant and stupid...wanting to use yer equipment thinking theyre the entertainer when all there are is your money source for the gig haha... but its onlya few of em...not all of em ae jsut dumb drunks... oh well play for the enjoyment of the music... and free beer and chicken.... Sir Douglas Randy
kenjones Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 "Freebird"My old band (The Missiles) had a "Freebird" rule. Whenever somebody would yell out "Freebird" or any other song of that ilk, one of us would say "OK, we'll play it, but YOU have to sing it!". If the loudmouth actually took us up on this, we would begin playing the song. The drunk guy would come up on stage, look out at the audience at his friends with a big "look at me!" grin, and begin to sing the song:"If I leave here tomorrow... would you still remember me... 'cause I'm... must.. be... traveling on... (long pause while drunk guy realizes that he doesn't know any more of the words) whoa, whoa, whoa... (shoots a look at the band to get us to "catch up" to where he's at in the song) And this bird you cannot change... whoa, whoa, whoa... We'd wrap up the song quickly, say "How 'bout a hand for our guest vocalist!", and continue on with our set. This must have happened a dozen times in the 200 or so gigs we played over 3-4 years and the vocalist/drunk NEVER knew the words and would always skip to the chorus/hook and expect us to follow him!"Karaoke"We played a bunch of frat parties at one point. We quickly discovered that we should play the material we wanted to play in first set (before the frat boys got loaded). The rest of the night was spent as "The Missiles Karaoke Band". The audience had a great time and we got to play a bunch of stuff we didn't know.
silentman Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 No one has ever come up and asked to play my guitars, which I wouldn't allow, but we've had a few people ask to sing along with something that we already do. This usually works out OK cause the person in question generally has no mike savvy and is drowned out by our singer. We did have this drunk guy insist on playing drums for a song (can't remember what) but against all objections somehow he was able to get behind the set. I forget what it was - foo fighter maybe - but he was anything but tight on the kit. ugh! Never again I don't have a problem with someone sitting in who I know has some experience, but no more unknowns!
elduave Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 This also reminds me of doing an acoustic gig with my friend Todd (thegetawaycar.net). Dude is uber talented, and has no problem gettin a date. We where at Rock Bottom in Arlington, VA. Place is PACKED with hot hot girls. Many of them come up and request Jack Johnson, or Dave Matthews or something else that we have nothing to do with. This one girl keeps coming up and trying to talk to us WHILE WE'RE PLAYING. After about the third time Todd stops the song and proceeds to have a conversation with her on mic. Keep in mind he's not being jovial, he's downright angry and condecending to her. He asks her what she does for a living. She says she's a girls lacrosse coach. He says where do you work. She says blah blah blah school. He says "Tomorrow, I'm coming by your work, I'm going to get in the huddle, and start calling plays. How does that sound?" I thought that was classic. She finally chilled, for a bit anyway...
elduave Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Re: FreebirdAt a recent acoustic gig, someone shouted out the obligatory request for Freebird. The guy who was sitting in with me happened to have a huge book of lyrics, including Freebird. I did the whole song. Was kinda fun!
Brooks Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Re: FreebirdAt a recent acoustic gig, someone shouted out the obligatory request for Freebird. we took monte montgomery's 30 second version of "stairway to freebird" and expanded it into a whole tune;"all along the stairway to freebird".people get confused when they hear the lyrics from one tune sung over the chords of another tune, ha.
MCChris Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Re: FreebirdAt a recent acoustic gig, someone shouted out the obligatory request for Freebird. We always used to say "Free Bird? I didn't even know Larry Bird was in jail."
Guest teefus2 Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 a guy that used to sing for us would respond to "freebird!" by flipping off the loudmouth and saying "the first one is free, the next one is gonna cost you $20!".
darc Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 The best audience idiots are the one's who find the mic you're recording the gig with. (No matter the obscurity of its location, someone will find it.) I've gotten conversations on tape that top any lyrics I could ever write. Then there's always some a$$hole in the know (typically a friend of the drummer's, why is that?) who feels compelled to walk up to said mic (during your best performance of your favorite song, ever) and say goodnight to the band. Yes, we'll all be just thrilled to hear from you when we're playing back the CD in the morning... Grrrr.
DavidE Posted July 18, 2005 Posted July 18, 2005 Every night bro...There is always some idiot who wants to sing or play guitar for a song. Thank *god* that our leader will have none of it. He has no problem playing the bad guy, and people normally leave him alone. He has a birth defect that left him with half his left arm and half his right leg...that pretty much takes care of all the testosterone that can be involved with this situation. They mistakenly feel sorry for him and assume that a fight would just make them look horrible silly. What they don't realize is that Jaye is a bad mo-fo and can actually fight his ass off!! LOL!!! I watched him shove his nub into a guys chest years ago when we were teenagers...the poor bastard never knew what hit him and he went down in a heap gasping for breath. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA Our singer asks the person to sing something off mike, then tells them that they can't sing and we move on. ;-)
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