Three years ago my son walked through the chilling rain and spread his wings. This song is for him.

[Ting Ho Dung]

May you never be broken again. I love you Joel I hope to see you again

http://youtu.be/uv-EZx-qI_8

[Jeff R]

I don't know the background story but the thread title, your message and Myles Kennedy's voice pulls my heartstrings.

[backinit]

An emotional song for sure.

[Jeff R]

A very close HFC friend steered me and Vonnie to your website for the background on this thread. I tend to ignore everyone's signatures on message boards because most (like mine) have no real depth/relevance whatsoever.

Vonnie and I read as much as we could and all we can say as parents of six children is we offer our condolences and we truly cannot imagine what you guys continue to endure. Reach out if you or the family ever need anything.

[Scottcrud]

I've visited your blog as well Thorn.... All I can say is I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know you, but as a Father I was in tears as I read the whole blog. I hope I never have to go what you've gone through.

[MCChris]

I too am sorry for your loss. I can relate, somewhat. Wifey and I endured several miscarriages and finally stillborn twins, which truly was a living nightmare. Understandably, we gave up trying after that and figured if it was meant to be, it would happen with no fertility treatments and would go to full term. She's not been pregnant since, which is partially a relief, partially a shame. A little bit of me died with each of the failed pregnancies. Yesterday being mother's day, it was tough for both of us. Always is. But, we move ahead. Some days it's easier to do than others.

As for the song, it's stuff like the one you posted that puts Alter Bridge way ahead of its peers.

[Ting Ho Dung]

McChris, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say.

--Michael

[MCChris]

McChris, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say.

--Michael

Nothing to say, really. Not sure why I even typed all of that on here.

Anywho, sorry we got off on the wrong foot a few months ago. Understandable that we'd both be a little salty. Glad to have you on the HFC.

[Ting Ho Dung]

We are good, McChris. Thank you, --Michael

[BTMN]

Sometimes it's minute to minute, sometimes day to to day. It's ok to get week to week too. Like the world, we move on, but can always return to remember. Never stay in that spot though to long, it will eat you up.

[Ranger]

Hard to imagine but some morning you'll look out your back door and it will be a good day again. I know this to be true, and it will happen with you, too.

[Hamer Dave]

That is a beautiful song, with sooo much emotion. May you stay strong.

Dave

[burningyen]

My continued condolences. As a father, I don't even want to contemplate what it would be like.

[zenmindbeginner]

It's not just losing a son... it was losing the dearest of friends too. 3 years ago, must seem like it happened yesterday.

You've basically stared right into the flames of hell.

The good news is that you are experienced hell on earth in it's most lethal form and yet you are still here and doing well.

You deserve a LOT of credit for keeping your sanity when most of us would have crumbled beyond repair.

Now you have a quality that is extremely rare and highly valuable... grace.

Rest In Peace Joel, I know for a fact that he will always be remembered because I myself, will never forget him because of your dedication to his memory.

And don't forget that we are ALL pulling for you.

[Ting Ho Dung]

Thanks for all your support. The rabbit hole is calling me this morning but I'm going to step over it. In about 4 minutes, on a morning just like this one where it rained all night, as it did last night, my son was pronounced dead at the scene. I still don't understand it. I'm planning to drive to Bowling Green later today and place some new flowers at the marker.

[gorch]

That's a big thing for the main thread on a guitar board though.

My thoughts are certainly with you.

[Ting Ho Dung]

The Rabbit Hole didn't catch me today, at least not yet. Brandon and I drove to the marker when he got out of school and placed some new flowers. The candles were still there from previous night time visits, which is nice to know. I've been thinking about his timeline a lot today and driving there brought me back to wondering what was going through his mind and which path he walked. I still wonder where his shoes are and his cell phone and Tool key chain.

[Rodan]

Sincere condolences to you. It can be especially hard when any part of the circumstances is unclear.

I lost my Dad 22 years ago to a traffic accident out of state, and my girlfriend, 7 years ago. It seems to me that we learn how to go on living with these big holes in us...maybe limping inside, where people can't see it. Nothing can fill the empty space, because it would mean replacing the love that's still there...

I hope you can be at peace, and if you believe this way, feel his presence still.

[zorrow]

Every time I see your posts about Joel I feel a profound empathy and at the same time I freak out. I have two kids and there's nothing I fear the most than the possibility of outliving them. Life is so fragile!

[Hfan]

Thorn, I just read your blog in its entirety. Words fail me. Cliches are not adequate. I am deeply touched to say the least. I pray that your family continues to find the strength to carry on and that the pain lessens over time. You should be very proud, Joel sounds like he was a great young man and he will always live in your heart. I am very sorry for your loss. I was glad to read towards the end of your notes that you had a brief feeling of joy, I hope they become more frequent. I want to thank you for sharing this, it is a valuable lesson in family, love, and so many other things we can take for granted too easily. God bless you. I am a stranger but actually no longer feel like one. Feel free to contact me anytime if I can help or listen or anything at all. Your writings I think will help me to be a better father..and thank you for that. Take care of yourself your son wants you to.

Pete

[Ting Ho Dung]

Nothing can fill the empty space, because it would mean replacing the love that's still there...

That is so true and so elequentely spoken. It wasn't long ago that I had a big belly laugh while driving Brandon home from school. He made me laugh so hard I don't even remember what it was. He made me laugh so hard I nearly hit the curbside. But when I was done I realized I had used muscles that haven't been used in a very long time. I then felt guilty for it. But I have been feeling peace lately, and also guilt for feeling that way. I laughed once or twice on the 15th and choked it off because I thought it inappropriate. The hole is still there but it seems that it is finding a new place less prominent to allow other chords to level over it. But it is still there and I think it will always be. I think of my son every day, not as obsessively as before, but he is in my thoughts all day, every day.

Thank you all for your kind remarks,

--Michael

[specialk]

Memories are cool.

Just don't forget to keep making them.

[Bass Guy Dave]

The thing I appreciate most about the HFC is that many years ago, becuase of people sharing ther experiences--including their losses, I've been reminded to unashamedly tell those people that I care about that I love them.

I've only lost a few people close to me, but I've been exceptionally fortunate to be able to tell them plainly that they mattered to me beforehand.

Dad's in his late 70s, and I'm in the HFCs debt for being so much closer with him now.

I can't imagine how undone I'd be, were I to lose my wife or sons.... Michael, thanks for sharing Joel with us. I'm so sorry for your loss.