MTM105 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My wife refuses to compliment my guitar playing, ever.As a young man I would receive accolades from various aspirants.Now I am my 40s and married with child for 4 1/2 years. I may not have the same time or energy to play like I used to in my single days, which averaged 45 min to 2-3 hours per day.There is your occasional argument and my wife will threaten to burn my book collection/library, or throw out a favorite personel item. But she will never threaten to do anything to my guitars, which then means its really personel.Perhaps my talent has vanished. My dreams have faded into obscurity. I have become infamous like Sony Bono. Or a discarded dinosaur like Disco.
JES1680 Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My wife doesn't complement my playing anymore. She used to before we were married. You know in that early dating stage she would sit and listen to me play, even ask me to play for her. Maybe I've just not done anything new in the last 11 years worht complementing. Of course she also used to ride around on the fender of my Harley (single seat only) and now I can't get her near my realitively comfy Triumph.
jerseydrew Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 ahhhh... The 3 rings of marriage.1) the engagement ring2) the wedding ring3) the suffering
Caddie Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 huh bouy, bad bad bad flash backs. Very early in my first marriage my wife ridiculed my fledgling efforts at guitar playing. It cut me to the bone. I buried that guitar back in its case, and it stayed under the bed thru 3 apartments and one home. 8+ years later, shortly after she moved out (like minutes after) it came out from under the bed and never returned. She never returned either. Buh bye Sasquatch.Step ahead in time another 13 years, I'm a full fledged Hamer-aholic, plus half a dozen amps & a few other pieces of gear. My current (and hopefully final wife) encourages me to play more than I do and attends every gig she can get to. She and my daughters bought a gorgeous Duotone for me for Christmas a couple of years ago. Want more? When we bought this house in '98 my wife pointed out an area in the basement and said "that will be a perfect spot for you to finish however you want it, setup all your gear and play."Want more? My current wife is the one who encouraged me to get together with some other 40-something basement wanna be's "just for fun". We became the Pasty Puffy White Boyz, we play Muddy Waters, 3 Doors Down, Johnny Cash, Stone Temple Pilots,..... whatever the hell we want. Its a huge kick. And from a social standpoint its not a whole helluva lot different than getting together with a group of guys to play golf every weekend. Less sunscreen, more hearing damage........confuses the neighbors.My 11 year old daughter brags that her Dad plays (well use to play, pre brain tumor) in a band on the weekends. She never bragged that he sunk a 15 footer to post a 79 on Sunday at the local muni course. Your guitar playing will provide a great communication bridge when that 4 1/2 year old of yours turns 15. Just ask BCR Greg.So tell your wife that playing guitars is a better hobby than going to the Adult Bookstore or Fantasy Footballnoonan
atquinn Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 I've written my wife a couple songs. She doesn't like most of the stuff I play (too heavy/wanky for her), but she never fails to describe me as a good guitarist if the opportunity presents itself . -Austin
SirDouglas Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My wife isnt the problem... my mother is... shes tried everything in her power to stop me from ever picking up a guitar since i was 11.... that was 30 years ago... and is still trying.... my wife on the other hand i cant get her to stay away from me when i am playing... HELLO!!!!! stop breathin down my neck while im tryin to learn something and/or practice... hehe worst of both worlds haha.. when we started dating(the wife ) she would sit there and not even blink watcin me play... she still does this after 15 years...good thing? if you werent as easily irratated by it like i am yes... haha... still kinda complimentry though... just dont let lack of compliments stop ya from playing... Sir Douglas Randy
Guest galejt Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Buh bye Sasquatch. Too funny!Your current and hopefully final wife got any sisters?Kidding! My current and definitely final (24 years this month) wife loves it when I play. Even just fingering exercises. She's a cheap date alright.Jim
Caddie Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Your current and hopefully final wife got any sisters?yeah, but they're old, wrinkly, cranky & married w/children. Like me. They're just not quite as furry as ol' Sasquatch was.noonan
tomteriffic Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Previous wife was initially appreciative, than gradually became more and more anti-playing. I joined a band just to honk her off. I was still in that band when I met Most Esteemed Redhead. In fact, it had a lot to do with out meeting up, 11 years ago yesterday. We still gig occasionally as a bad-attitude acoustic duo, and when I wind it up to 11 and pull off (for me) some tasty licks, there's nearly always a 'WOO-HOO!' from the living room. Makes my entire month, I tell ya.
kizanski Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My Wife said that my playing had a lot of promise."Promise you won't play in front of me."
seeker Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My wife likes my playing and lets me know it. On the other hand, she married me, which immediately calls her judgement into question. She's even trying to help me clear out a part of our finished basement for my guitar and amp "space". Either I did marry a saint, or it's some clever ploy to get my gear out of the upstairs and away from my teenager who's always screaming at me to turn it down (which is incredibly ironic). Or both.
kurtsstuff Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Well....I met my "EX" wife while at a gig and we married 2-3 years later and yes I was still actively gigging...At about 1 year into the marriage I was given a choice...Her or the Band...Well of course..like a dumbass I took her but...Kinda went downhill over the next 8-9 years till finally we did'nt know each other anymore...
Guest galejt Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 yeah, but they're old, wrinkly, cranky & married w/children. You say that like its a bad thing
Caddie Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 She's even trying to help me clear out a part of our finished basement for my guitar and amp "space". Either I did marry a saint, or it's some clever ploy ..........Oh grasshopper, women do NOT clear out basements for nuthin' . Too many spiders, too damp & chilly, too many dead mice, drippy pipes, drippy paint cans, etc....I smell either a kitchen or bathroom (or both) remodel job coming up in your not too distant future. Probably juuuuuust shortly after all your gear gets setup in that finished basement of yours. telltale signs: Have you noticed any Benjamin Moore paint color samples laying around? Has your tape measure been left sitting around in the kitchen or bath? any contractor's biz cards on the kitchen table?No good deed goes unpunished, this one's a gonna cost ya son........gongnoonan
polara Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My wife (she was my girlfriend until last week -- I'm a newlywed!) plays keyboards and cello in my band. She is also Swedish.Life is good.
BCR Greg Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 Congrats, Polara!!!!!My wife loves my playing, but tells me when I go overboard. She knows what she's talking about, and her advice is always heeded.
kurtsstuff Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My Girlfriend however let me dedicate a whole room to nothing but gear!!! life is good again!!
SirDouglas Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My Girlfriend however let me dedicate a whole room to nothing but gear!!! life is good again!! My Girlfriend however let me dedicate a whole room to nothing but gear!!! life is good again!! haha my wife did too... NOW she wants a room for her CRAFTY bullshit to go in... i told her we had one... the trash can... hahaha Sir Douglas Randy
kurtsstuff Posted January 1, 2006 Posted January 1, 2006 My Girlfriend however let me dedicate a whole room to nothing but gear!!! life is good again!! My Girlfriend however let me dedicate a whole room to nothing but gear!!! life is good again!! haha my wife did too... NOW she wants a room for her CRAFTY bullshit to go in... i told her we had one... the trash can... hahaha Sir Douglas Randy Oh SirDouglas.....you poor poor soul....your a dead man walkin....hehehe!!!!
ArnieZ Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 My wife claims, rightfully, that she has never heard me play a song the whole way through. I've played 2 gigs in our 28 years of marriage and I must say she was really into both ot them depite my lousy playing. Don't feel underappreciated, it is probably much less important to her than to you. How do you feel about window treatments etc?ArnieZ
Willie G. Moseley Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 The divorce rate among musicians---full or part-time---is 80-something percent. I met the first-woman-I-was-married-to (as opposed to "(ex-)wife"; I differentiate in the application of such terms) at a gig, wrote a song about her, got married and unfortunately one of numerous facets of the dissolution of my first marriage---and this was almost 30 years ago---was that I stayed too hung up on the band as an escape/outlet/obsession, like other males do with hunting, fishing and golf. On the other hand, some of Sam Kinison's rants about his exes struck home big time when I first heard 'em...The present spouse is the only wife I've ever had (coming up on our 21st anniversary), and before and since we married I had to learn to do a lot of things in moderation, and I had to prove to myself I could do such before I ever got married again. Such moderation and pragmatism includes gigs and guitar collecting. That's especially true when children come along, but how many players have enough sense to recognize such (at the time)?
bobbymack Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 My new wife enjoys the band so much she even booked our New Year's Eve gig, a very nice affair attended by nice diverse crowd which fortunately included scores of hot young ladies decked to the nines...
MTM105 Posted January 2, 2006 Author Posted January 2, 2006 I was kinda embarrassed to post this issue at first, figuring I would get rude and painful comments and have to remove the post.So far, most replies have been genuine.I am not a professional by any stretch, had a professional line up a few years back, but the lead singer had LSD (Lead Singer Disease) and the band fizzled out after I was forced to play bass.I live in Nashville and hope to network some studio time somewhere, somehow.My wife won't even dance. I am probably better not expecting her opinion anyway.
cloakerz Posted January 2, 2006 Posted January 2, 2006 Well..............my ex-wife liked my playing to start with but as our relationship went downhill so did her thoughts about my playing. I went from being "great" to "greatly sucking". On the bright side, my new wife, while being 1000 times the woman in the first place really likes my playing. I am also playing with a new class of musicans where I live now. Guys are professional musicians with many years of touring under their belts and are helping me to step-up musically. Has been tough at times but they are patient and I practice lots.
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