copper blue Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I been thinking over the last few weeks that nothing is going my way in regards to playing music. I've been thru so many false starts and projects that fall thru, that I'm at my wits end. The last is really straw that broke the camels back and I'm having a really hard time with it..After months and months of emails with people that went nowhere, a few sessions that just fell apart, I lucked into another guy who wanted to do the same kind of band as I did. A country-rock/alt.country vibe that went very well with the first 3 practices and we were working up a setlist of covers and a few originals...Then the singer/guitar player guy goes and signs on with a friend of his doing almost the exact same thing. I don't begrudge the guy, cos he's a great guy and this is a paying gig..so off he went. Now..where do I stand? I've searched every possible net Musicians Wanted, Craigslist, HC..nothing..not a goddamn thing in my area. It's absolutely maddening..So here I stand..at the crossroads of my music life and I'm not sure what direction to turn. It's frustrating at the least and depressing at the most.. Anyone care to talk me down from the ledge?thanks for letting me vent..Rob
HamerHokie Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Where do you live and what is keeping you there?
Steve Haynie Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Oh, welcome to my world!I had it with drunks, posers, liars, thieves, and dipshits, but I never gave up hope. I put aside the last five years to pursue some other things, but now I am open for starting something again. There are some good players that I know that will one day jam with me again. You, too, know good people who will cross your path again and again over the years. New people will move to town. New players will emerge. It is frustrating in the short term, but nothing is over yet in the long run. Do you want to be an immediate rock star? Are you worried about your window of opportunity to be a young player? Paul Dean was 38 when the first Loverboy album debuted.
bobbymack Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 It can be tough, I think you just have to stay out there. Talk to people every chance you get, I found a bass player once from BSing with my guitar tech, ya never know. Hang around music stores a bit, put a couple tear away signs up, put a couple of your own ads on craigslist etc...It sounds cliche, but its not that different from finding a girl or a real job...they're out there, ya just have to poke around until you find the right one.Hope the $.02 helps...
pesocaster Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 When I am going through this... I just take the time to write and hit the woodshed.... I find it's harder to write when in a band ... so this get's my "portfolio" updated and expanded.... Hang in there....
Caddie Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 "Flint, Michigan !!! You expect me to move to f%ing Flint, f%ing Michigan so YOU can play in some f%ing country-rock/alt f%ing whatever band? And I suppose the winter gigs are in the lovely f%ing U.P." That woman of mine, what a way with words, eh? Buddy......this is gonna be one helluva tough sell to my wife. You better have one butt kickin relocation and health benefits package. So whatcha got? noonan
MCChris Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Paul Dean was 38 when the first Loverboy album debuted. Copper'll LOVE this little tidbit of info LOL!
jettster Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 If your definition of playing music, is playing in a band then, yes it can be extremely difficult. Fortunately, there are other avenues to playing music though, recording being one of those. I am currently in a killer band sistuation but, that was not the case for many years. I had gotten tired of club owners, playing cover tunes, personality conflicts, people not able to make practice and all of the usual things associated with being in a band. It finally got to the point where I just did everything myself so I could be totally independant and create music. To me there is a lot of satisfaction in doing that. So, maybe it's time to take a break from the band scene to get creative, writing and recording original material? That keeps you up to speed and you can always test the water for new leads.
tomteriffic Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 My advice? Say "The hell with it!!" Just hang it up. Stomp around the place, yell and cuss, and start wrapping your brain around the idea and getting comfortable with it. As soon as you do, something great will come along.This technique worked for me in not only getting into a fun band that lasted a good number of years, but also worked with respect to women. After a long period of being single and unattached (despite my best efforts) and not digging it all that much, Most Esteemed Redhead pretty much dropped out of the sky and into my life.Try it. What the hell, you have nothing to lose and you can always change your mind.
robbie Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 If the scene in Flint or surrounding area has local bands and venues that you like I would go out and see bands and start being seen, networking, meeting people. I have tried using on-line and print classifieds in the past 15 years and not one good lead... everyone I've ever played with has been through making relationships seeing other bands at clubs, meeting people, friends and jams (even HFC jams!!). If you want to do it, don't give up.
jerseydrew Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 or......you could give up like me. Get married, have kids and move on. It's not as bad as it sounds. I have a great wife with two beautiful kids and a nice house. I have a little basement studio that's soundproofed, and I play whenever I want. And sometimes, maybe I'll have a friend come over and we could jam. But that hardly happens anymore. The days of playing out are long over. The days of going to band practice is long over too. As I tell my kids, Daddy's gotta make money for his honey's. All I have left is my memories.
jerseydrew Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 But on the brightside. In my studio I make podcasts with my friends and we fart into the mic Talk about memories. My Webpage and click on the podcast button
BadgerDave Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Paul Dean was 38 when the first Loverboy album debuted. I can think of few better reasons than this to give up if you haven't made it by the time you're 38!
Lockbody Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 or......you could give up like me. Get married, have kids and move on. It's not as bad as it sounds. I have a great wife with two beautiful kids and a nice house. I have a little basement studio that's soundproofed, and I play whenever I want. And sometimes, maybe I'll have a friend come over and we could jam. But that hardly happens anymore.The days of playing out are long over. The days of going to band practice is long over too. I find myself closing in on this. I care less and less about playing out and actually do not look foward to the hassle involved with lugging crap around and dealing with the whole "club scene". At 40, with a good career, nice house, beautiful wife and little girl, I don't feel very "punk", either. Plus, with the type of music we play, there's never been a lot of money to offset the work, so it's always been for fun. Well, if the fun's not there...I've been looking to hook up with these other guys and do the cover band thing just to keep playing, because if I'm not practicing with a band, I don't even pickup a guitar anymore. It has been fun playing around with my new effects box, though. But as far as Copper's situation goes, I tend to agree with Jettster and TomT, just hang loose and take some time to write some songs and woodshed. Sometimes, the ol' "A watched pot never boils" is true. When I was single, I always had the best luck when I was sick of women and was just going to be single for a while.
hamerhead Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Definitely use the downtime to practice.I did that for about 20 years. Now I'm in a good band having to alot of fun. It helps to have your brain in the proper place.
ceeb Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 I highly reccomend this book. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/068483877...=books&v=glanceIt can help you sort out where you want to go, and get focused on why you play music in the first place.
Abaco Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 Very interesting thread. I'm a rocker at 38 with a baby son so I can relate to the comments about people hanging it up. It's so odd... I also have a great house, family, terrific daytime career. When a booker approaches us to play a crummy gig that pays almost nothing and I turn it down they act insulted. It's like, if you're going to be gigging, the assumption is that you're a starving moron. That's what wears thin on me. So....don't worry...gigging aint all roses, either.Play if you enjoy it. Woodshedding is fun for me so that keeps me going. As far as meeting other musicians who are worth a damn - give up on the Craig's List/classifieds - it don't work. Mutual friends and word of mouth are just about the only way to do it, based on my experience. Placing an ad is a joke.I can totally understand the urge to hang it up. You only got one life. Do what makes you happy.
mattb Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Get out and start checking out local bands. They always have friends of friends who play. Start woodshedding and if you start networking with more local musicians you will find yourself in a band in no time.my .02-MattB
Matt Mattson Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Fortunately, there are other avenues to playing music though, recording being one of those. I am currently in a killer band sistuation but, that was not the case for many years. I had gotten tired of club owners, playing cover tunes, personality conflicts, people not able to make practice and all of the usual things associated with being in a band. It finally got to the point where I just did everything myself so I could be totally independant and create music. To me there is a lot of satisfaction in doing that. So, maybe it's time to take a break from the band scene to get creative, writing and recording original material?Ditto for me.I picked up the guitar at the tender age of 48, after a min-stroke left my left lower fingers at 1/2 strength (so I play most things with 2 fingers). I've been writing all my life and after the stroke figured if I'm going to get it produced, then the man in the mirror is responsible for getting off his butt and doing it the way he wants it done.You got no problems (compared to many (neither do I). Use the time to create new music or learn new chords, riffs, sequences, etc.Good luck.
polara Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Age 11. Learned guitar to play Smoke on the WaterAge 15. Heard the Clash and Cheap Trick. Picked up guitar again.Age 17. Playing in bands.Age 24. On the radio, playing the southeast.Age 26. My friends are in Rolling Stone. It's assumed my band will follow.Age 28. I join a band that is written up, glowingly, by Rolling Stone. We're working on the Long-Anticipated Second CD.Age 29. I realize I hate the music business.Age 30. I've sold all my gear and am devoted to my career.Age 37. A friend gives me a guitar. I have not TOUCHED one in seven years.Age 39. I'm backing up a singer-songwriter.Age 41. I'm playing solo gigs in Iceland.Age 42. I'm lookiing at studios next week to record a CD with a new band.Quit. Don't quit. You are a musician, and the music matters, not the way you express it this particular week or year. The music will wait for you, copper.
Buzzy Fretts Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 truth is I've moved into a semi-acoutic would of solo playing and writing. this wasn't where I expected to wind up when I brought a stack of hot tubes and a few nice gutars. the acoustic I purchased was supposed to fill in when the REAL stuff was offline. instead I found a sound that connects with a small group of people at a time. I play small rooms and can look each person in the eye as I surprise them with a hook or an unexpected line. its probably not where I'll stay either. I recently watched a DVD that nails exactly where I hope this will go. David Gilmout, playing semi acoustic. strip the music down and see what is left. the wailing electric lead becomes a color to call on, not a requirement. if it can't hold up under the scrutiny of low volume, it was probably only half baked anyway.
copper blue Posted January 18, 2006 Author Posted January 18, 2006 I'd really like to thank eveyone for all the advice..on reading it all I forgot to add that:I'm 33, married with 3 kidsI've been actively looking for about 4 years now..I'm the moderator of the Help Wanted Forum for the Local All Ages Venue and a member of the Advisory Committee.So I am involved with the local scene, but it's mostly the punk/emo/hardcore kids.I am going to take the advice of just sitting and writing. It's not anything I've really done before, because I'm convinced I write better with other folks..Maybe it's time to re-evalute. Who knows..maybe I'll be the next Loverboy!!!: DAnyways, you guys are great.seriously. And if the schedule allows, I may end up at MWJ to cry in my beer...BTW:Caddie? where you at?
Matt Mattson Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I am going to take the advice of just sitting and writing.Excellent. And may you have the next #1 hit!
kurtsstuff Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I'm now 45 years old (but look damn good by the way hehe) and I'm wrestling with the whole "we're puttin the band back together man!!" trip and I'm having a real hard time getting excited about it. I'll be honest and admit...there is some "fear" there that in my mind I think...hmm...I don't think I'm as good as I used to be. Or...will I come off as some half assed old fart chasing the glory of days past but I keep telling myself that I'd be doing it for the love of it but...these thoughts do haunt me and I also think I'm really just too frickin lazy to want to work that hard again....hehe
Buzzy Fretts Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 I'd really like to thank eveyone for all the advice..on reading it all I forgot to add that:I'm 33, married with 3 kidsI've been actively looking for about 4 years now.. awww, CB. I thought you were really over the hill. stir the pot and see what comes out while you raise those yungums fine. in a few years, when you're done driving everyone to soccer games and track meets, you'll be prepared for your comeback. you might be more like copper gray by then. but so will your audience. Its a timely thread cause at midnight I turn 45. no kids here, so its time to leave a legacy.
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